Ibiza Bingo for 2026

Because if you didn’t hear it, did it even happen?

Ibiza has beaches, sunsets, and very good tomatoes.

It also has a dense concentration of spiritual language that appears everywhere: cafés, ceremonies, beaches, WhatsApp groups, and conversations that start with “I’m really feeling into something”.

This is Ibiza Bingo.

Not to mock people.

Not to shame curiosity.

But to stay lightly sane while navigating the island’s spiritual ecosystem.

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The Ibiza Bingo Card

Use the card below.

One word per square.

A FREE SPACE in the centre, because obviously.

(Insert your 5×5 bingo card here via embed or image)

Words include things you will hear unironically, often before noon.

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How to Play Ibiza Bingo

• Keep the bingo card with you at all times

• Mentally tick a square every time you hear one of the words spoken seriously

• Context does not matter

• Eye contact makes it worth double points

• Group ceremonies count as rapid-fire rounds

Ways to Win

• One line (horizontal, vertical, diagonal): Mild enlightenment

• Two lines: Spiritual fatigue

• Full card / blackout: Congratulations, you have reached Peak Ibiza

Blackout before sunset is considered an advanced level.

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Rules (Important)

• You are not allowed to argue about definitions

• “But that’s not what it really means” still counts

• Saying “quantum” without explaining anything counts immediately

• Retrograde-related excuses count even if Mercury isn’t retrograde

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Prizes (Very Real, Extremely Valuable)

🏆 Grand Prize

• A BS non-sensical therapy

• Includes a full Akashic Records Reading

• Delivered entirely through vibes

• No evidence provided

• No follow-up questions allowed

🎖 Runner-Up Prize

• Lifetime membership of

The Spiritual Industrial Complex – Secret Organisation

• Members enjoy:

– Instant authority

– Deep language with no grounding

– Total immunity from skepticism

• No energy exchange needed

• No money required

• No responsibility taken

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Important Disclaimer

Ibiza Bingo is:

• Not anti-spirituality

• Not anti-curiosity

• Not anti-ritual

It is pro:

• clarity

• humour

• grounding

• remembering to eat properly and sleep

If you complete a full card and feel dizzy, drink water and go to the sea.

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Pro Tip

If someone asks why you’re smiling quietly during a conversation,

just say:

“I’m really checking in with what’s landing for me right now.”

Tick three squares instantly.